Just As Sane As I Am
by Rosella Burgundy
Summary: "I came here to set up a Christmas tree for the Thestrals, and to make sure there's no wild Devil's Snare growing in the paddock," "Devil's Snare doesn't just grow out of fresh snow. Venomous Tentacula, on the other hand, could harm the foals if it were to grow in the paddock." Anyone listening to them would have thought them crazy, but they were both dead serious.


**NOTES:** Huge thanks to my Alpha and Beta, RooOJoy, for helping me out with this story. Any mistakes you see, are mine only.

JK Rowling owns everything, I'm only borrowing her characters and playing with them.

Thanks to the Facebook group, Potter Moms, that hosted this Christmas Prompted Competition. Prompt: I think there's a Nargle in my Christmas tree...

Thank you for reading and Happy Holidays!

 **Just As Sane As I Am**

 _ **December 1998**_

The Thestral paddock was a patch of freshly fallen snow. Luna strolled through it leaving deep impressions on the soft ground. The winged horses were gathered in a small herd under the shade of the tall trees in the Forbidden Forest.

"Hi, my sweethearts," she greeted them and grabbed a handful of raw meat bites from her satchel. A small foal trotted to her and gladly accepted her offering. The colt's mother, never far away, joined him and nudged Luna's shoulder with her beak in a sign of affection, and to beg for some food. Luna chuckled, stroking the leathery skin that covered her muzzle.

"There you go, Plum. I asked the house-elves in the kitchen to slice a fresh batch just for you guys," she proudly announced. The whole herd approached her soon after, eager to try the sweet treat.

"I knew I would have found you here," someone spoke from the forest behind her. The Thestrals rose their skeletal heads in the direction from which the sound came. A tall wizard was slowly making his way through the deep snow, dark blue eyes firmly on Luna, his unruly black hair tousled by the wind.

Luna's heartbeat quickened as though a Golden Snidget had nested in her chest. That happened a lot around that particular wizard. She sighed and smiled at him. Luna didn't really know how it happened, but Theodore Nott had slowly but inexorably permeated every centimetre of her soul - the parts that were not inhabited by Wrackspurts, of course.

Plum recognized the boy in Slytherin robes and galloped towards him to welcome him. He took her huge head in his arms, cradling her in an affectionate embrace.

 _ **September 1997**_

With a frown, Theo hid behind a bush in the Thestral paddock when he heard a soft, feminine humming approaching. He visited the Thestral meadow in the Forbidden Forest every night; the gentle creatures helped him clear his head from his family issues. A girl in Ravenclaw uniform approached one of the winged horses with a greasy chicken thigh in her hand.

"Hi Plum, Hagrid had to flee the castle," she greeted the beast, a hint of sadness in her eyes. Theo knew that the newly established Carrow regime was going to unsettle the school life. He grunted; he had always enjoyed Care of Magical Creatures with the Half-Giant Professor. Luna smiled at the creature fondly. "I'll take care of you and the other animals from now on."

Theo couldn't put a name to her heart-shaped face, but the kindness in her words and gestures infused in him a sense of peace and security.

"Can you see them?" The words left his mouth before he could stop them. Startled, Luna turned towards him as he popped out of the bush; she bit her lip before nodding. With dreamy eyes, she leaned her forehead on Plum's head. Theo's heart did a somersault in his chest right then and there.

"I can see them too," he confessed, admitting that he was no stranger to death. Again, he didn't know why he had said those words, but he felt drawn to the petite and gentle girl.

"My mother died in front of my eyes," she said as if it were a normal thing, as though she were talking about a potion recipe. He noticed a sad smile on her lips, her eyes lost in her memories for a moment.

Who was this girl? Somehow they shared a similar past and a fondness for creatures with a sinister reputation.

"Theodore Nott," he introduced himself, extending a hand. "I was there when my mother died as well," he spat out, trying not to think of how his birth had killed her.

"Luna Lovegood," she batted her lashes, delicately shaking his hand. A playful smile tugged at her lips as she added, "Some people call me Looney, they think I'm odd."

Theo quirked his brow. His fellow Slytherin students often defined him as odd as well, and he was sort of a loner too. He had no intention of making fun of her.

They secretly met in the Forest often after their first encounter. It was by chance every couple of days in the beginning, but they quickly fell into a schedule and saw each other every evening before curfew. She was like the wind, soft and refreshing. She would wipe away his worries with her smiles and kindness. They talked about school and family often. He avoided talking about his father as a Death Eater. He had admitted that his relationship with Nott Senior was not exactly what should be expected from a father and son. He had told her how his father blamed him for his mother's death, and how he used to be violent towards a younger, thinner Theo.

One cloudy day of October, with her usual composure, Luna asked, "Are you a Death Eater?"

His stomach flipped at the thought of it, and he almost puked when he feared that she might be thinking that he was one. "No," he hissed, his sight foggy and lost.

"Does your father want you to be one?" She moved closer, looking straight at him with her big blue eyes.

"Yes." His eyes couldn't meet hers. The shame was too much.

"But you don't want to be one." It was not a question, and his heart fluttered so fast that he thought it could explode out of his chest. The exhilarating feeling quickly died down as he convinced himself that he didn't deserve the kindness that she reserved for him. He knew he should stay away from her before he could extinguish her soft wind, but he was selfish. He couldn't let go of her, he needed the way she mended his soul. He felt like a moth attracted to light.

XX

"Have you ever seen them flying? Theo asked on a snowy December evening, petting a massive mare's neck.

Luna gave him a mischievous smile and proudly said, "I actually rode on a Thestral once."

Theo's eyebrow shot up in astonishment, but he chuckled lightly at the girl before him. "Somehow, I'm not surprised. Aren't you a little too adventurous to be a Raven?"

"Let's go for a flight," she suggested without even answering his question, perhaps confirming his suspicion.

"It's freezing!" he pointed out.

"You live in a cold dungeon, Snake, let's go!" she retorted, using the same House stereotype. She pulled him by the hand and approached the mare's side. She spoke softly to the Thestral, asking for permission to mount. Plum (Theo had laughed when he found out that Luna had chosen that name because the mare oddly loved to eat Dirigible Plums) bowed her head and spread one of her bat-like wings, granting them access to her back.

"I'll lead," Luna said, jumping up to claim the spot right between the creature's bony shoulder blades.

"I don't think so." Theo puffed his chest but felt extremely unsure of the whole thing. He never liked flying, and his tall lanky body made him quite clumsy. He cautiously put his foot on the largest wing bone and pulled himself up by Plum's vertebrae. His wet boot slipped on the leathery wing and Plum huffed, folding her limb. He would have fallen face first in the snow if it wasn't for his, for once, good reflexes that told him to not let go of the horse's spine.

Luna chuckled at his struggles and patted the Thestral's back behind her. "Put your foot on her thigh instead. I'll lead."

With a grunt, Theo straddled the creature's skeletal back and pulled Luna to his chest, his arms snaking around her waist. He smirked at her soft gasping, and whispered in her ear, "Fine, Lovegood". She shivered in his arms.

Luna gently stroked Plum's ear, and the mare began trotting toward a clearing. Once in the open, the Thestral lowered her head and broke into a full gallop until she pushed up with her hind legs and, with a powerful wing flap, she took off. Theo's heart sunk in his stomach as they rose toward the sky; the rest of the Thestral herd and the trees became smaller and smaller. The winged horse circled the paddock twice and then set her course towards the Black Lake, straightening her way above the Forbidden Forest. Her circling must have been an invitation for the rest of the Thestrals because, in a stampede of hoofs, they all set for the clearing and took flight. In a matter of seconds, the whole heard was soaring beside Theo and Luna.

"Wow," Theo couldn't contain his wonder as he stared in awe at the gothic architecture of the Hogwarts castle. He pulled Luna closer, she abandoned her head against his shoulder, and he leaned in to rest his chin on her head.

He was in ecstasy; the cold wind roaring in his ears was in contrast with the warmth and calming sensation of Luna's body against him. She was his soft breeze. He moved his head to look down at her, and he found that she had moved at the same time and was staring at him. Her beautiful azure eyes were sparkling, and her full lips were smiling at him. One of his hands abandoned her waist and rose to the subtle dimple on her chin. He smirked at her and gently tilted her head up a little more. He softly brushed her lips with his once, but he moved no more. They were so close, but he hesitated to erase the distance.

Luna bit her lip, shifted her whole body sideways, and grabbed the lapels of his uniform, pulling him closer. Their mouths moved together in a mindblowing kiss, their senses hyped by the sensation of the void below them. Neither of them realised that the herd had turned back around and was now descending on the clearing.

Plum touched the ground and Luna jolted in his arms, interrupting their connection. She grinned at him, and he knew that he was in love. He hoped that somehow, miraculously, she had fallen for him too.

They dismounted, this time Theo made sure not to make a fool out of himself, and he grabbed her hips and held her tight against his body. He was not ready to let her go, so he kissed her again, but he could tell that her mood had shifted as her hands remained still on his chest.

"We should stop secretly meeting in the forest," she broke the kiss and blurted out, seemingly out of the blue. He knew that her clever brain had never stopped working, and she'd probably been following a stream of thought the whole time. Not even his lips could stop her Ravenclaw reasoning once in motion, and he knew she wanted him to join the Dumbledore Army. He was fully aware that just meeting every day and talking about war and family was not enough for a relationship, but he also knew that he would have put her in mortal danger if he'd joined what, for his estate, was the other side.

"No. Sorry. My father would not hesitate to kill you if we were out in the open," his words were final. That started their first argument. He had never seen her upset before, and he suspected that it took a very special kind of idiot - him- to do it.

"Your father already tried to kill me at the Department of Mysteries." Her words were like daggers in his guts and he felt at a loss. He didn't answer or react, anger boiling inside of him. Her eyes pierced through him, she spoke in a shaky voice and assured him that the Order would protect him but he was lost in his mind, drowning in a pool of hatred towards his father. At some point, since she was not getting through him, she walked back to the castle, leaving him alone with his thoughts in the forest. Theo didn't follow her. He didn't deserve her. He didn't deserve the happiness he had felt with her. He was poison, and she was better without him.

On their ride back on the Hogwarts Express for the Christmas holidays, a group of Death Eaters attacked the students and kidnapped Luna. Theo was in the Slytherin wagon when it happened. He saw the black cloaks flying, dark smoke seeping from the hem of their garments, and he ran within the train compartments like a madman, looking for her. When he finally found the wagon that members of the DA had been occupying, he realised that Luna was gone.

He hid in a bathroom and cried. How could he have been so stupid? It didn't matter if he was involved with her or not. She was in danger anyways for being on Potter's side.

XX

Theo slammed Draco's bedroom door open, and with two long strides, he pounced on him, grabbing him by his tie. In one jerky movement, Theo slammed Draco's back to the wall, his wand digging in his mate's jugular. "Where is she?"

"Whom the fuck are you talking about, Theo?" Malfoy's voice came out with a whine.

"Where is Luna Lovegood, you prick?" Theo hissed, lips hard and eyes smouldering in anger.

"What? Why would you give a crap?" Draco asked, but his eyes opened wide as he realised that Theo cared for the girl.

"Don't play stupid!" Theo spat out the words with a shaky voice, his wand digging deeper in the soft flesh of Draco's neck.

"I honestly don't know, they don't exactly keep me in the loop, you know that! Put me down, mate." Draco spoke in a low and quiet tone, trying to calm Theo down as well.

Theo inhaled slowly and deeply, closing his eyes, the hold on Draco's tie loosening a little. "Where do they bring the prisoners?"

"I wonder if they brought her here. Is she the one you've been sneaking around with?" Draco was inquisitive, his eyes firmly piercing Theo's.

"Stop playing fucking dumb! Where do they take their prisoners?" Theo was in his face again, nostrils flaring and eyes glowering.

"In the cellar, but-" Theo didn't let him finish. He set for the door and started running. Draco had used Legilimency on him, Theo had felt it, so Malfoy knew that he was going on a suicide mission. With a wand flick, the bedroom door latch snapped shut, and Theo was trapped.

Theo growled in frustration and punched the door with a single powerful blow. He used so much force that his knuckles bled and broke with a loud crack. "Let me out, Draco, or I swear on Salazar's pureblood, I'll hex you so badly that dear mummy won't recognize her little boy! And then I'll hex her too. I swear, Draco, I'll put you under Imperius!" His wand rose as he aimed it at his friend's chest.

"Expelliarmus," Draco shouted and collected Theo's wand as it went flying. "Incarcerous," Draco hissed out as Theo tried to tackle him the Muggle way. Theo fell, his face pressed on the cold floor, thick cords keeping him still. He began panting, gasping and trying to get up. He had to do something. He had to save her. "I won't let you kill yourself," Draco calmly said.

"If they touch her, I swear, I'll kill every Death Eater at the Manor, my father, and the Dark Lord himself. I don't care if I die, I just don't give a shite!" he screamed so loud his lungs hurt.

"Calm down! You know I'll help you, wanker!" Draco's patience was coming to an end.

The cold air coming from the floorboards actually felt good on Theo's face. He evaluated his options. If he broke into the cellar, he would be killed by one of the many Death Eaters stationed at the Manor. Nott Senior would have probably loved to put an end to his life himself. Their already crappy relationship had further deteriorated since Theo refused to get the Mark. If he tried to save Luna, he would expose her to his father's wrath. He would condemn her. Theo had no choice but to give up.

"I'm sorry mate, I need to do something for her, I- shite! I'm in love with her!" he whispered against the wooden floor, admitting his feelings for the first time, his body finally relaxing.

"Merlin, Theo, I don't think I've ever heard you talking as much as tonight. Let's go to Mother." Draco released him and helped him get up.

They ran to Narcissa's tea room and asked for help, but the only thing she could do was to assure Theo that she would make sure that nobody would harm Luna. She made no real promises, although she stated with a haughty frown, that the Manor was still her house and the elves were under her control. Theo kept visiting the manor to make sure Luna was okay, but after returning to Hogwarts, he had to rely only on Narcissa's letters. He had waited for her owl daily and he was overjoyed to learn that Potter had freed Luna from the Manor. That was the first time that Theo felt truly committed to the Chosen One's cause.

After the Easter holidays, Luna came back. During the dinner feast, she went right to him, in the Great Hall, in front of the Carrows and all the school, and she kissed him. He let her.

"I know what you did for me," she whispered on his lips. "Draco told me that you went to Narcissa. Her personal elf brought me warm meals and checked on me every day. She is nice," she added turning to Malfoy who bowed his head slightly to her in return.

From that moment forward, Theo started actively helping the DA, feeding her information about the Carrows and other Death Eaters. By the end of the year, when Potter came and defeated the Dark Lord, he was an active member of the DA, and he had moved into the Room of Requirement.

 _ **December 1998**_

"Hi, Theodore," Luna said waving a gloved hand at him.

Nott scoffed and followed the mare back to where Luna was standing, a hand on the neck of the animal. As soon as he was close enough, he slipped Luna's satchel from her shoulder and grabbed her by her waist, lifting her off the ground and pulling her up so that her face was at his eye level. He smirked at her surprised giggle and stamped a quick kiss on her lips.

"For Salazar's fucking sake, Luna," he scolded her, delicately placing her back on the ground. "You have been my witch for a while. Don't you think you could start calling me Theo?"

Luna tittered, still blushing from the unexpected kiss and retorted, "I like your name, Theodore Nott. It sounds noble."

He shook his head, letting her go, and rubbed a hand through his hair. "I wish I could change it. It's also my father's name." A shadow of sadness crept on his face as he reached out and tied Luna's scarf a little tighter, to protect her from the cold draft. "It's getting cold, we should go back to the castle," he stated in a tone that Luna recognised as a patronising attempt of telling her what to do, as if she weren't capable of taking care of herself.

"I came here to set up a Christmas tree for the Thestrals, and to make sure there's no wild Devil's Snare growing in the paddock,"

"Devil's Snare doesn't just grow out of fresh snow. Venomous Tentacula, on the other hand, could harm the foals if it were to grow in the paddock." Anyone listening to them would have thought them crazy, but they were both dead serious. Theo loved Herbology and rare plants.

She grinned at him. "The Snare has been known to pop up in random places, one can never be too careful." With determined eyes, she admonished him not to protest and picked up her satchel. He observed her with a fond smile. After a bit of rummaging, she sighed in frustration and just dumped all its content on the snow.

Among various samples of herbs, bizarre gadgets, and copies of the latest numbers of the Quibbler, she finally found a blue and bronze hat. With a wand wave, she duplicated it and put it on Theo's head. "Let's work".

Theo and Luna searched the paddock for dangerous plants and then, they ventured in the forest in search of the perfect Christmas tree until they came across a gorgeous blue spruce with beautiful silver needles. Coordinating their spells, they replanted it inside the Thestral meadow, and they transfigured pine cones into colourful ornaments and twigs into angel hair.

Theo spotted some rocks and turned them into a bunch of singing gnomes decorations. He circled the tree, hanging the squirmish ornaments and kissing Luna every time he encountered her on his path. She loved when he was spontaneous and carefree. With a sigh, she broke their companionable silence and asked, "Will you come to meet my father for Christmas?"

xx

Theo's jaw fell open. Astonished and a little worried about facing Xenophilius Lovegood after what his Death Eater father had done. Theo responded, "Since my father is in Azkaban, Draco invited me to stay with him and his mother-

"Good. I don't want you alone in that huge manor of yours."

She had such a pure spirit, it made him feel like he could touch redemption even if he didn't deserve it. Circling the tree again, he caught her in a long and meaningful kiss. "Happy first kiss anniversary." He had waited for the perfect moment to say it, and that seemed to be it.

She smiled, the blue in her eyes sparkling. "You remembered that..."

"Yes, why?" he blurted out, a soft pink tinge colouring his cheeks.

"Slytherin boy went all Hufflepuff on me," she chuckled, but he knew she didn't mean it as an insult as she admired all houses.

He laughed out loud and captured her face in his hand. "Shut up and kiss me, Lovegood."

When he let her go, her eyes averted his gaze and with a frown, she stared at the Christmas tree. Theo immediately worried that something was wrong and quickly promised, " I'll come over for New Year's Eve, okay?"

Luna blinked, turned to him, and nodded. "I think there's a Nargle in my Christmas tree," she said, crossing her arm. Stepping closer to the tree, she shook it to scare the Nargle away.

He chuckled, relieved that she was not upset. Reaching in his pockets, he slipped out a pair of Spectrespecs and he delicately placed them on her button nose. "We better make sure there are no Wrakspurts either! Let's inspect the tree." Theo had learnt, during his second year, that those sneaky creatures could make people a little confused. He had spent a month in a daze because his bed was infested by the tossers. Since then, he always kept one pair of those special glasses in his cloak; one could never know when they might come in handy.

Luna beamed at him with her beautiful, blue eyes. "You are just as sane as I am, Nott. I love you."

He sighed, overjoyed. "Call me Theo! I love you too."


End file.
